Amoebic Industries Unltd.

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The Office Review by Victor Lewis Smith

rickygervais:

A summer stinker; ‘A bore in homeopathic doses can be hilarious, but a bore in real time remains simply a bore’.
Victor Lewis-Smith
The Evening Standard, July 10 2001

BRITAIN has the best television in the world,” we’re constantly being told, mostly by networks who specialise in stealing the very worst formats from America. From Double Your Money and The Price is Right to Wheel of Fortune and Trisha, the UK schedules have always been crammed with second-hand ideas from the States, so much so that I’ve recently written to the Government, suggesting that it should set up an official watchdog to monitor the trade. My proposal is that this watchdog should be called Offrip, that its board should consist of a wide cross section of society (Lady Howe, Lord Wakeham, a retired High Court judge, and perhaps a bishop or two), and that just like every other public regulatory body in the country, it should have no powers whatsoever, and exist purely to be alternately mocked and ignored behind its back.

 

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the best thing about this review is that Ricky’s probably even now countering it with “Victor Lewis-Smith, eh? And how many Twitter followers has he got?” and thinking he’s really, really clever.

6 months ago • 41 notes 

6 months ago • 22 notes 


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aurish:

philolzophy:

littleslippi:

johnnyvulpine:

meganboylesuperfan:

I think it goes without saying that today we all became extremely proud of Poncho Peligroso and Johnny Vulpine for telling some internet poopsack off after he decided he was going to troll the Tao Lin / Megan Boyle facebook relationship status change. 
Hooray for internet heroism!

i’m a super hero

fuck you james

I realize that the only reason people care about this is because it feeds into the gossip surrounding the drama about the break up of two famous (at least to us) people; not only are we curious about the intrapersonal issues going on between the Boyle-Taos, but now we also get two (other) famous people coming to their defense. I don’t know who this James Morrill asshole is (not famous) but good for you PP and JV.
What I want to add (and I’m sure Poncho and Johnny’s comments at least subliminally reference this), is that how the fuck is it any of this dude’s business to criticize Megan for her number of sex partners? A popular question of ours during rounds of our favorite game Truth or Truth is a) how many sex partners have you had and b) how many sex partners is too many? I’ve heard people say a half dozen, I’ve heard people say fifteen, I’ve heard people say twenty-five, I’ve heard people say it doesn’t matter at all.
But aside from the fact that it’s not any of that dudes’ business, 21 sexual partners in 5 years is not really all that slutty. That’s essentially one person every three months. That’s basically the length of an average relationship for most people in their early twenties. If you actually read the piece, it’s not like she’s walking up to strangers and begging them to fuck her (and why would even that be wrong, necessarily); instead she describes having sincere interest in and affection for many of her suitors… it just doesn’t always work out. Which is pretty true to reality, huh?
I’ve had sex with six people this year. I liked all of them and had vague interest in dating all but one or two, but even still both of those were friends who I knew well and trusted. Before that I had sex with one person a year for the previous five years because I was in serious relationships. I am not a slut. And whose business is it anyway?
One reason I really admire Megan Boyle is her ability to unabashedly discuss taboo topics (one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read on the Thought Catalog was this piece where she describes in intricate detail the mundane discomforts of being in a real and therefore imperfect relationship). Good for her for talking about sex in a way typically reserved for men, in a way that isn’t salacious or histrionic.
Dudes like this Morrill person could stand to learn a thing or two about gender roles and what real life is like for most people who don’t brainlessly marry the first person they meet the second semester of senior year of college.
One final thing out of curiosity (I won’t get mad at you, I promise): how many sex partners do you think is too many?

yes yes yes
fuck you james

aurish:

philolzophy:

littleslippi:

johnnyvulpine:

meganboylesuperfan:

I think it goes without saying that today we all became extremely proud of Poncho Peligroso and Johnny Vulpine for telling some internet poopsack off after he decided he was going to troll the Tao Lin / Megan Boyle facebook relationship status change. 

Hooray for internet heroism!

i’m a super hero

fuck you james

I realize that the only reason people care about this is because it feeds into the gossip surrounding the drama about the break up of two famous (at least to us) people; not only are we curious about the intrapersonal issues going on between the Boyle-Taos, but now we also get two (other) famous people coming to their defense. I don’t know who this James Morrill asshole is (not famous) but good for you PP and JV.

What I want to add (and I’m sure Poncho and Johnny’s comments at least subliminally reference this), is that how the fuck is it any of this dude’s business to criticize Megan for her number of sex partners? A popular question of ours during rounds of our favorite game Truth or Truth is a) how many sex partners have you had and b) how many sex partners is too many? I’ve heard people say a half dozen, I’ve heard people say fifteen, I’ve heard people say twenty-five, I’ve heard people say it doesn’t matter at all.

But aside from the fact that it’s not any of that dudes’ business, 21 sexual partners in 5 years is not really all that slutty. That’s essentially one person every three months. That’s basically the length of an average relationship for most people in their early twenties. If you actually read the piece, it’s not like she’s walking up to strangers and begging them to fuck her (and why would even that be wrong, necessarily); instead she describes having sincere interest in and affection for many of her suitors… it just doesn’t always work out. Which is pretty true to reality, huh?

I’ve had sex with six people this year. I liked all of them and had vague interest in dating all but one or two, but even still both of those were friends who I knew well and trusted. Before that I had sex with one person a year for the previous five years because I was in serious relationships. I am not a slut. And whose business is it anyway?

One reason I really admire Megan Boyle is her ability to unabashedly discuss taboo topics (one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read on the Thought Catalog was this piece where she describes in intricate detail the mundane discomforts of being in a real and therefore imperfect relationship). Good for her for talking about sex in a way typically reserved for men, in a way that isn’t salacious or histrionic.

Dudes like this Morrill person could stand to learn a thing or two about gender roles and what real life is like for most people who don’t brainlessly marry the first person they meet the second semester of senior year of college.

One final thing out of curiosity (I won’t get mad at you, I promise): how many sex partners do you think is too many?

yes yes yes

fuck you james

(Source: karimkazemi, via aurish-deactivated20111128)

7 months ago • 62 notes 

7 months ago • 4 notes 

actuallyyourethe47percent:

IN A JUST WORLD YOUR PARENTS WOULD BE ROTTING AWAY IN JAIL FOR NOT BEING CAPABLE OF PAYING THEIR DEBTS, OR MAYBE THEY WOULD BE SLAVES 

i’d really hate to see what kind of turd art this person is producing

actuallyyourethe47percent:

IN A JUST WORLD YOUR PARENTS WOULD BE ROTTING AWAY IN JAIL FOR NOT BEING CAPABLE OF PAYING THEIR DEBTS, OR MAYBE THEY WOULD BE SLAVES 

i’d really hate to see what kind of turd art this person is producing

7 months ago • 53 notes 

Exclaim! reviews “Not Here”

“Not Here (his first release for net label Amoebic Industries) showcases Adams’ keen ear for texture and rhythm. His fluid drones drift enchantingly, augmented by feedback and distortion…” Bryon Hayes for exclaim.ca

8 months ago • 2 notes 

Let me tell you some things.

I used to investigate child abuse and neglect. I can tell you how to stop the vast majority of abortion in the world.

First, make knowledge and access to contraception widely available. Start teaching kids before they hit puberty. Teach them about domestic violence and coercion, and teach them not to coerce and rape. Create a strong, loving community where women and girls feel safe and supported in times of need. Because guess what? They aren’t. You know what happens to babies born under such circumstances? They get hurt, unnecessarily. They get sick, unnecessarily. They get removed from parents who love them but who are unprepared for the burden of a child. Resources? Honey, we try. There aren’t enough resources anywhere. There are waiting lists, and promises, and maybes. If the government itself can’t hook people up, what makes you think an impoverished single mom can handle it?

Abolish poverty. Do you have any idea how much childcare costs? Daycare can cost as much or more than monthly rent. They may be inadequately staffed. Getting a private nanny is a nice idea, but they don’t come cheap either. Relatives? Do they own a car? Does the bus run at the right times? Do they have jobs of their own they need to work just to keep the lights on? Are they going to stick around until you get off you convenience store shift at 4 AM? Do they have criminal histories that will make them unsuitable as caregivers when CPS pokes around? You gonna pay for that? Who’s going to pay for that?

End rape. I know your type errs on the side of blaming the woman, but I’ve seen little girls who’ve barely gotten their periods pregnant because somebody thought raping preteens was an awesome idea. You want to put a child through that? Or someone with a mental or physical inability for whom pregnancy would be frightening, painful or even life-threatening? I’ve seen nonverbal kids who had their feet sliced up by caregivers for no fucking reason at all, you think sexual abuse doesn’t happen either?

You say there’s lots of couples who want to adopt. Kiddo, what they want to adopt are healthy white babies, preferably untainted by the wombs and genetics of women with alcohol or drug dependencies. I’ve seen the kids they don’t want, who almost no one wants. You people focus only on the happy pink babies, the gigglers, the ones who grow and grow with no trouble. Those are not the kids who linger in foster care. Those are certainly not the older kids and teenagers who age out of foster care and then are thrown out in the streets, usually with an array of medical and mental health issues. Are they too old to count?

And yeah, I’ve seen the babies, little hand-sized things barely clinging to life. There’s no glory, no wonder there. There is no wonder in a pregnant woman with five dollars to her name, so deep in depression you wonder if she’ll be alive in a week. Therapy costs money. Medicine costs money. Food, clothes, electricity cost money. Government assistance is a pittance; poverty drives women and girls into situations where they are forced to rely on people who abuse them to survive. (I’ve been up in more hospitals than I can count.)

In each and every dark pit of desperation, I have never seen a pro-lifer. I ain’t never seen them babysitting, scrubbing floors, bringing over goods, handing mom $50 bucks a month or driving her to the pediatrician. I ain’t never seen them sitting up for hours with an autistic child who screams and rages so his mother can get some sleep while she rests up from working 14-hour days. I don’t see them fixing leaks in rundown houses or playing with a kid while the police prepare to interview her about her sexual abuse. They’re not paying for the funerals of babies and children who died after birth, when they truly do become independent organisms. And the crazy thing is they think they’ve already done their job, because the child was born!

Aphids give birth, girl. It’s no miracle. You want to speak for the weak? Get off your high horse and get your hands dirty helping the poor, the isolated, the ill and mentally ill women and mothers and their children who already breathe the dirty air. You are doing nothing, absolutely nothing, for children. You don’t have a flea’s comprehension of injustice. You are not doing shit for life until you get in there and fight that darkness. Until you understand that abortion is salvation in a world like ours. Does that sound too hard? Do you really think suffering post-birth is more permissible, less worthy of outrage?

“Pro-life” is simply a philosophy in which the only life worth saving is the one that can be saved by punishing a woman.

i know we’re just a very small record label, but fuck it, why can’t a record label also have basic ethics and stand (up) for stuff? everyone needs to read this.

STFU, Conservatives: When I say I’m pro-life…

This is perfect.

(via mis-anthrop-ologie)

And I mean, I believe in stuff like this. 

(via freudianflips)

Well, this made me tear up this morning.

(via tastiejam)

““Pro-life” is simply a philosophy in which the only life worth saving is the one that can be saved by punishing a woman.”

(via damekatharsis)

Always reblog.

(via stfuconservatives)

(via aurish-deactivated20111128)

9 months ago • 11,963 notes 

lit-gossip:

littleslippi:

the pale queen

Year of the existential milkshakes bringing all the books to the yard?

lit-gossip:

littleslippi:

the pale queen

Year of the existential milkshakes bringing all the books to the yard?

(via lit-gossip-deactivated20110913)

9 months ago • 320 notes • david foster wallace  infinite jest  kelis  boobs  lit gossip  fiction 

“What strikes me is the fact that in our society, art has become something which is related only to objects and not to individuals, or to life. That art is something which is specialized or which is done by experts who are artists. But couldn’t everyone’s life become a work of art? Why should the lamp or the house be an art object, but not our life?”

bravenewwhatever:

[Michel Foucault]

9 months ago • 5 notes 

“Spanish Key”: track 3 from the first Desert Island Dicks album, Bring Me the Head of Miles Davis and Other Jazz Luminaries, released in 2007 through Glitch City (GC008) and Amoebic Industries (AMP003). From 17.5 minutes down to 90 seconds.

10 months ago • 1 note • Desert Island Dicks  Bring Me the Head of Miles Davis and Other Jazz Luminaries  video